By Sarah Suatoni

One day last summer a friend of mine called and suggested we take our girls to a nearby horse farm where the mares had just foaled.  We spent a lovely day together enjoying the brilliant spring weather, the delight our girls took in seeing the newborn horses, our own sense of awe at witnessing new life, (and the new lattes being served at dunken donuts).  All the while we chatted about our lives.  Our conversation centered on ideas we had about our work.  We shared our visions,  exchanged feedback, resolved nothing, and returned to conversation faithfully amidst the more dominant forces of our day; our wild, lovely daughters.  The play date for our daughters so out weighed our conversation that our exchange barely registered, yet I ended the day feeling very fulfilled.

The next day my friend called to say that she had such surge of inspiration after our ‘play-date’ that she stayed up late in to the night working on her work ideas.  She proposed that we meet monthly and let the girls play while we take time to nurture our ideas to fruition.  I agreed and we have shared a few such days since.  Some have been productive, others not, but the experience of community is wonderful. Our girls play and we work on our projects side by side, occasionally offering each other feedback, often being interrupted to join the play or monitor a disagreement.  So far I have learned more about the nature of being a woman and a mother than I have about my ‘project’.  It is an opportunity to experience a flow between my autonomy and my intense connection with my child; about being a mother in love with her child and women who needs to express herself in the world through work. 

Since having children I have wondered about the either/or messages about parenting; either you work or stay home; you nurture yourself through acts of self expression or you nurture your children, either your children play or you do.  I want a model of Mothering that is ‘yes/and’ rather than ‘either/or’.  I want exchanges with my children to be an expression of my self.  I want to be with my child while I work on my projects.  I want to be with other Mothers so I can be nurtured as a mother and an adult. This exchange with my friend showed me that my desire for a yes/and model of parenting could be found by engaging in community with other women.  Playgroups are wonderful.  I want one for my children at every step of their growth.  And I want for myself.

This insight sparked my collaboration with Kari Henley.  Kari and I began by starting one women’s group and eventually formed a company called Gather Central (www.Gathercentral.com) Gather Central runs groups, workshops, lectures and retreats for women and children.  The groups have been an amazing source of inspiration to all who participate.  Women are coming together and connecting with their bodies, their spirit, and each other and the results are amazing.

In one recent group a Mother of four courageously cried about her bedroom.  She had bought paint a year earlier in order to make her bedroom a haven for herself and her Husband and never found the time to paint.  She shared her 1200 square foot home with her husband and four children and the place was total chaos, unfolded laundry and abandoned toys consumed her home and she felt like she just couldn’t manage.  Each of us could relate to her story in some way. Her telling it helped us all.  A few days later two of the women decided we should go paint that bedroom.  They made a play date with her and 9 of showed up with rollers, brushes, and buckets.  Three hours later her laundry was neatly in drawers, several bags of garbage stood on the curb, the basement, kitchen, and bathrooms were spotless and the bedroom was painted, redecorated, and truly beautiful.  Even more beautiful was our friends face and the example of receiving she gave all of us. 

How do you get in to a group like that?  What we do is combine the following elements:

1. We do movement processes drawn from dance and yoga, which will be fun, grounding, relaxing, invigorating, and informative.  They will help with posture and alignment, awareness of the body, and enjoyment of the body.
2. We do movements and guided meditations which exercises integrate sensation with emotional/attitudinal experience so that body awareness becomes emotional intelligence. --We do writing and art exercises that help you understand your life from an imaginal perspective.  This work is based on the fact that the body and the unconscious speak the language of images, sensations, impressions, and feelings.  In order to know ourselves and gain access to our deeper purpose it is useful to employ the body and the arts. 
3. We explore the realm of pleasure and sensuality by teaching foot massages, having an outing to a sweat lodge, learning the basics of belly dancing. 
4. We practice sitting meditation and breathing exercises to facilitate relaxation and awareness
5. -We have open discussions in which we share our responses to the workshop, our daily lives, our joys, and struggles as parents and women.

 The keys to feeling resourced, nourished and inspired are a connection to your body and a connection to your community. Gathering energies, intentions, and wits is very powerful. It is an essential time to foster community, relatedness, and mind-body awareness.  Only a disembodied, disenfranchised group of people could tolerate and abide the level of fear and violence we are increasingly exposed to.  These groups are our way of contributing to peace, tolerance, and understanding.  We invite you to join us.

You can begin your own group very easily.  We offer a consulting service and a workbook on starting your group or you can borrow the elements mentioned above and combine them with your own interests.  There are women joining together to do everything from knitting to yoga.  When you add in the missing elements such as discussion and sharing or including the body through moving, breathing or meditating, magic can happen.  Call three friends and have them call three, pick a place and time to meet and begin supporting yourself and your children through community.  Women have met in circles through out time.  Why not now?  Margaret Mead says, “Never doubt that a thoughtful group of concerned citizens can change the world, indeed it is the only thing that ever has”.